Thrown away again

Well the “system” has thrown me away again.

It’s been almost a month and the only contact I’ve had with Schulyer County Mental Health is two appointments so that they can fill out papers and try to assign me to a councilor at the beginning of the month.

Social services is making me jump through hoops so that they will not take away the money that I haven’t even received yet! That’s right, not so veiled threats of retaliation on almost every document I have to sign. Not to mention that I have already told them that I have no vehicle so what do they have me doing?

Driving my brother’s car to Montour for employment meetings; so I am technically selling my food stamps to use his vehicle so I can keep the non-existent money that Social Services is not giving me!

I sold my mom’s car the other day. That was a whole new pooch screw.

I called Pick-a-Part and the guy quoted me that the price runs from $500 to $1000 for vehicles that you drive in depending upon their year and any problems they had. So Rick follows me down there and the guy say’s that all he is willing to pay is $200. Not even scrap price. Rick starts to lose it so I tell him that we will just take it home and wait for the price to go up.

So we put a for sale sign on the car and wait a few days.

I called a car recycling shop over towards Savona and asked their prices and they said the same thing as Pick-a-Part in Elmira. We drove the car over and he walked around it and gave us $500 on the spot.

That’s right. The guy at Pick-a-Part was planning on pocketing $300 of our money. Don’t trust Pick-a-Part.

At least it was enough to pay a month’s mortgage payment.

I’m about as depressed as I can get.

Every day it seems that more and more of my mom is being taken away.

I don’t even think that I will be able to really talk to who-ever get’s to be my councilor anyway.

I usually just do my “Captain Kirk” impression and keep my cards close. They think I’m being open and honest but I’m really judging their reactions to see if they are trustworthy.

I didn’t even tell them that I’m transgender! With crazy people out there murdering people like me because they blame us for everything from the stock market crashing to Trump being a dick who can blame me?

Well I took some more tests at “therapy by pro” to try and get my bearings.  As follows:

PTSD: 30 out of 60 so I still have PTSD.

BPD: 23 out of 40 so a possibility of BPD.

Anxiety: 29 out of 60 so yes I have anxiety. “Captain Kirk” hides that really well.

Depression: 52 out of 60 so I am in severe depression.

Body Dysmorphia: 9 out of 10 so I hate how I look and how everyone sees me.

Social Anxiety: 38 out of 40 so a High indication of social anxiety disorder or social phobia. Enter “Captain Kirk” who is not afraid of anything.

So who are you talking to me or Captain Kirk?

Well if I look you in the eye and maintain eye contact and use “aggressive listening techniques” then it’s probably Kirk.

Well I will be losing my home soon.

The SSD is denying me because I didn't fill out a paper that they never asked for or gave me. I have all of my receipts and request papers from them so in the end I should be able to prove that I've given them everything that they asked for. But by the time I go in front of a judge all of our utilities will be shut off.

Two or three months. And my doctor will not refill any of my meds so CVS want's me to find out why.

Isn't that what I pay them for? CVS and my Doctor?

So someone from the IRS called me demanding to know what Singh was paying me and what bank account I was using, telling me how they would cancel my medical, and charge me with welfare fraud if I didn't give them his bank account number from his checks.

I never worked for him and I don't have any check from him!

Try and get ahead and get shit on.

Probably by DR. Singh himself seeing how he is acting twords me.

Or maybe he just has a problem with transgender people like so many other a-holes in this world.

 

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