Shamed

You should be ashamed of yourself!
I was feeling sick and didn’t want to sit at the bowling alley while dad and mom bowled.
You’re the cause of all the problems in this house! You’re so fucking selfish!
I was 9 years old; I can stay by myself! You go to your party! Just leave me alone!
Because of you I can’t go to the party!
Then the fists flew…not in my face…that would leave a mark he couldn’t explain!
Get out of this house you little bastard!
You go apologize to mom and dad!
You’re a fucking looser!
Thrown head first off the porch into the snow.
Get out of here!
Apologize to mom and dad; “Because I can’t go to the party!”
Push myself up.
Start walking towards town.
The snow burns my bare feet.
My arms are so cold!
That’s right get the fuck out of here you piece of shit!
Out of our yard…Almost to the neighbors…An arm around my throat…kicked in the side!
Get your ass back to that house!
More kicks…more hits…Leave me alone!
I was going to apologize!
Thrown in my room!
You say one word and I’ll slit your throat!
I’ll bury you down at the creek!
No-one will even look for you!
We’d be better off without you anyway!
Everyone hates you!
Alone…crying…no-one loves me…he’s right…Who would believe me…Afraid in the dark…you should be ashamed of yourself…and I was.
Well, my cold developed into a nasty case of the flu. I missed an entire week of school.
Seven days of eating halls and passing out listening to daytime TV only interrupted when my mom checked on me when she got home from work.
It would have been nice to have something other than halls to eat but my dad was too busy smoking pot with our next-door neighbors and Rick was laying low just in case I told someone.
Little kids rarely tell when they’re sick especially when there’s no-one there.
 

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